The Tale of the Princess and the Mutt
by rubisora18117
Summary: What do you get when you have two teenage boys demanding a story? Kaiba doesn't want to know if the storyteller is Jonouchi. Shonen-ai. Now with 5 aftermath stories!
1. The Princess and the Mutt

**Disclaimer:** I, rubisora18117, do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything relating to it.

**Summary:** What do you get when you have two teenage boys demanding a story? Kaiba doesn't want to know if the storyteller is Jonouchi.

**Warnings:** This fic contains shonen-ai/yaoi and an implied "evil" curse. This fic is kind of crack-ish compared to my usual stuff, so sorry to any fans I have that dislike this.

**Random talk:** Okay, my beta and I have officially decided that we are going to blame my brain and over active imagination for any weird ideas for fics. They are just so weird that I type them just to figure out what it was thinking when it came up with it. So, if this is too weird for your taste, blame my brain not my mind. Yes, I determined they are two different things. I need to blame something for my weird ideas that just sound so cool once I figure them out! So, if it is too weird for you, do what we do.

Italics in the story mean comments from the peanut gallery. The comments will always be in the order of Noa, Mokuba, and Kaiba. Yeah, Noa is alive. I like him too much to keep dead…

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**The Tale of the Princess and the Mutt**

Jonouchi sighed as he looked up from his text book. It was late at night and he was stuck at Kaiba Manor working on a project for school instead of hanging with his friends. Sure he got along with Kaiba now and didn't mind staying there, but there was a small problem that day.

"Nii-sama, tell Noa and me a story!" Mokuba demanded as he gave his brother the puppy dog look. Noa was on the other side of Kaiba with a matching expression.

"One, it's 'Noa and I'. You should know better," Kaiba sighed as he rubbed his eyes. "Second, we have a project to finish that is due in two days. We would have finished sooner if it wasn't for a certain mutt didn't get sidetracked so easily."

"Not my fault," Jonouchi muttered. "Look, I'll tell you a story if you leave us alone. I know your brother is used to it, but I can't concentrate with your distraction."

"Alright," the two boys chirped at the same time.

"Now let's see… I guess we'll start with 'Once upon a time'…"

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom called Domino. The king of Domino had three cousins: two boys and a girl. All three were considered princes (or princess for the girl) due to their father being king before the current one. When their father died, none of them were old enough to rule, so their cousin (the old king's nephew) took over.

The princess was the eldest of the three. She cared for her brothers like they were her own children, as their mother died giving birth to the youngest. Her beauty surpassed all and people from around the world would come just to ask her hand in marriage. She was also one of the smartest in the land, but she couldn't rule after her father since she was a girl.

_"Wow… Kinda sexist, isn't it?"_

_ "Shut up, Noa! I wanna hear the story!"_

_"Something tells me I'm not going to like this …"_

One day, the king was bored. It was after the 20th proposal that month for his cousin's hand that he had an idea to solve the problem of his boredom. He issued a challenge open to anyone. Evidently, the old king had another son. He was very paranoid and hid his eldest son away due to a curse put on the boy at birth. The task was simple: the one who could tell the king where the heir was got any wish granted within his power.

The challenge got everyone's attention. Word spread like wildfire across the land and to other kingdoms. Everyone figured that if they could find the prince they could marry the beautiful princess. Every kind of man, from peasants to kings, went out to find any clues of the missing prince. Everyone was so busy searching for the prince that the kingdom had to have been in its most peaceful time ever.

_"Okay, random… But strangely makes sense."_

_ "The princess had to have been beautiful if everyone would just drop everything to go look for the prince."_

_ "I really don't like where this story is going…"_

A year passed and no one was able to find the correct location, thus making the challenge more of a guessing game. Despite everything, the king still found it amusing how countless men would do anything for the hand of his cousin. Of course, said princess thought that the whole thing was stupid and a waste of time.

By then, a young lord had heard of the challenge. He was one of the few who didn't participate for he liked a little more down bellow than above. Yes, that meant he was gay. He was quite handsome with golden hair and warm chocolate eyes. Women swooned over his looks and skills, upset that they could not win his heart.

_"Stretching the truth a little too much?"_

_ "I have to agree with him, except that gay part... I think everyone in Domino if not the world knows you're as straight as the letter s."_

_ "Looks like I taught my brothers well."_

Anyways… The lord didn't think much of the challenge until his friend asked him to go with him to the court and try his luck. Since there was nothing for him to do, the lord agreed to go just to see his friend fail miserably. Plus, he had never seen the princess before. Now was good as any time to see what the big deal about her was.

When they got to the court, there was already a large crowd. It was obvious that most were there to try their luck. It was strange how the system worked. The king would choose someone from several people from a group of ten. Then, the person would state what they would like for their reward, which was always the hand of the princess. The king would then state that he would be able to fulfill their request if they answered correctly. When they gave the incorrect answer, the king would simple say they were wrong. At that time, those who had similar answers would leave so others could have a chance and not waste the king's time.

Only when the crowd thinned out until only a handful was left did the lord see the princess. The princess was truly beautiful with her long brown hair and sharp sapphire eyes. Despite sitting in a thrown next to her cousin, it was obvious that the girl was tall even if she was the same age as the lord of 17 years. Her light blue dress with silver embroidery suited her status and simply enhanced her natural beauty. On top of her head was a tiara, showing off that she was indeed a princess. It was then that the lord knew he fell in love.

"Okay, you with the weird hair," the king said, pointing to the lord's friend. "You know the drill, state your name and your request."

"I am Hiroto of the house of Honda," the lord's friend stated. "For my reward, I wish to have Princess Seto's hand in marriage."

_"Bwahahah! I love this story!"_

_ "Can't agree more! Ahahahah!"_

_ "I knew I was going to hate this story…"_

"Of course," the king sighed with a smile. "So, where is the lost prince?"

"I have heard that the prince was on an island called Alcatraz."

"While Alcatraz is used as a vacation spot for the royal family, I'm afraid to tell you that he is not there."

It seemed that Alcatraz was the latest popular idea for everyone there for the challenge left the room. The king sighed as he saw he would not have any more entertainment for the day.

"Is there no one else that wishes to win my hand?" the princess asked in a bored tone. No one stepped forward, which the princess took as a confirmation. "If that is the case-"

"I wish to try!" the lord yelled as he took a step forward.

"And you are?" the king asked.

"Katsuya of the house of Jonouchi," the lord now known as Jonouchi answered.

"Ah, I knew I recognized you," the king said with a smirk. "You are friends with Lord Yuugi. Well, what do you wish if you win?"

"All I ask for is the hand in marriage of the prince the challenge asked for," Jonouchi said with confidence.

"You cannot be serious!" the princess shouted. "Why him and not me!"

"Interesting," the king said, ignoring his cousin. "Alright, I'll let you marry the lost prince if you tell me where he is."

"Not you too, Atem!" the princess argued.

"Hey, it's the rules," the king, Atem, replied. "Now, Lord Jonouchi, tell me where the prince is."

"Why, he is sitting next to you," Jonouchi said with a grin. "Am I correct, _Prince_ Seto?"

"You cannot expect me to marry this mutt!" Princess, now confirmed as Prince, Seto exclaimed.

_"This is just too perfect!"_

_ "Seto was always a closet spaz. And don't even think about denying it!"_

_ "I'm not even going to dignify the comment with a response."_

The room erupted with murmurs of shock. All this time their lovely princess was really a beautiful boy in drag! It only sealed the fact that the old king really was paranoid to make everyone believe his eldest son and heir was a girl.

"So I guess that means I win," Jonouchi said, his grin even wider.

"Tell me, how did you figure it out?" Atem asked. "We took every precausion so the truth would remain hidden."

"Simlpe! True, the prince is hot in drag, but hot enough of getting my attention? Only way that would happen is if she was a he!"

Word spread of how King Atem's crazy challenge ended. Prince Seto started to dress more like a prince, happily burning every dress because Lord Jonouchi wished to sleep in a bed and not a couch.

"_Someone's whipped."_

"_Big time."_

"_At least he knows what's good for him."_

Prince Seto and Lord Jonouchi got married. Of course they didn't get along right away. The prince would insult the lord at which the lord punished the prince in his own special way. Eventually, they got along and had several kids. And everyone lived happily ever after.

"_Wait, how could they have kids?"_

"_Yeah… They're both guys…"_

"_Don't even think about it!"_

Oh, that's right! I forgot about the kids! Well…

"Wait, why are you letting me marry Seto?" Jonouchi asked. "I mean, yeah I did win, but doesn't he need an heir? Last I checked guys can't have babies…"

"Why do you think my father made me pretend to be a girl?" Prince Seto asked.

"Wasn't it because of a curse?"

"Exactly."

"… _O.o …"_

"… _O.O …"_

"_That's it… You're sleeping on the couch!"_

**

* * *

Owari**

**Random talk:** In reality, this fic idea is fairly old. It's got to be at least a year old… I just never got around to typing it because I kept seeing it as a multiple chapter fic. Maybe if I get bored enough and stop coming up with ideas, I'll make another fic based on this. Dunno since I've got a long list of fics that are in my "on hold" file…

Please review! I would like to know what you all honestly think about this fic!

Rubi-chan, signing off!


	2. The Curse of the Princess

**Random talk:** Um… Yeah… I know this was supposed to be a one-shot… This is what happens when I get really bored at work. See, I work for my cousins, so they're not as strict as other places. I usually end up brainstorming ideas with their secretary. What we end up with is five extra chapters that are more like one-shots!

**

* * *

**

**The Curse of the Princess**

"You cursed me!"

Jonouchi blinked in a mixture of confusion surprise. After dating Kaiba Seto for almost a year, he never thought he would hear those three words come out of the brunet's mouth unless it was to mock.

"Excuse me?" Jonouchi asked, raising an eyebrow. He soon regretted his question when a Duel Monsters card flew by his face and cut his cheek.

"You heard me!" Kaiba yelled. He held another card in his hand, ready to use it as a shuriken like the other one now imbedded into the wall. "That stupid story you told them cursed me! Don't even think about playing dumb!"

"How can I even play dumb if I don't know what you're talking about?" Jonouchi whimpered in defense.

"You know that story where you made me a cross-dressing prince?" Kaiba asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah… Made me sleep two weeks on the couch because of it…" Jonouchi grumbled under his breath. He blinked when he realized where the conversation was heading. They already had a similar one just three days ago. "Wait, don't tell me Mokuba still wants you to start wearing dresses."

"Unfortunately, yes," Kaiba sighed. "That's not the point! Lately, I haven't been feeling well. So, Mokuba decided to get me this!"

Before Jonouchi could react, Kaiba had already thrown something at his head. The blond recognized the item right away. It at least explained Kaiba's strange behavior.

"I did it just to amuse Mokuba…" Kaiba said, slowly raising his voice indicating his anger. "How was I supposed to know it would come back positive! Your stupid story cursed me! Well? What do you have to say about making me pregnant!"

Silence filled the room. It was a few minutes before Jonouchi sighed and gave his answer.

"Damn… Looks like I owe Yami 1000 yen!"

* * *

**Owari**

**Random talk:** I officially went to the dark side… I actually did a mpreg fic. The Princess and the Mutt doesn't count seeing as it was implied. Well, I hope you liked it anyways!

I originally was going to post this along with four other short bits as one-shots. I then got a review commenting on how it jumped around too much. All I have to say is this: Oops… As you read above, I _**wrote**_ these in boredom unlike the first chapter. Notice how I stressed the word "wrote"? I literally wrote them on paper first unlike the original story. Since I first typed them on a really bad computer, I've been a little busy. I completely forgot to go through and improve them! When I had a mass update of fics, I decided to post this as a one-shot. Thank god someone pointed out the jumping…. See, reviewing is good!

Please review!

Until next time!

Rubi-chan, over and out!


	3. The King's Explanation

**The King's Explanation**

"Explain to him what happened so I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore!"

Kaiba, Mokuba and Noa looked up to see Jonouchi drag Yami into Kaiba's personal kitchen. The two children were glad to have something else to watch besides watch the eldest of the three make his lunch. Kaiba just sighed as he started to add Tabasco to his ice cream. So far, he had a scoop of green tea, mint chocolate chip, coconut, and pineapple ice cream with honey, chocolate syrup, and nuts. On a plate next to him was chocolate dipped strawberries, pickles, and wasabi paste. If this was what he ate two months in, they would hate to see what he would come up later on.

"Why in Ra's name do I have to explain to anyone?" the ex-pharaoh yelled.

"Because nii-sama won't listen to him," Mokuba provided.

"Damn straight," Kaiba muttered as he went for the caramel sauce.

Yami sighed and sat on a bar stool next to Mokuba. He knew the sooner he told his side, the sooner he could leave that mad house.

"Jonouchi told me you were not yourself lately," Yami started. "He said it was almost like you were sad about something. He said it started soon after he first told _that_ story. I knew that if you were anything like my cousin, it was due to your 'maternal' instincts kicking in. This was cause by the idea of having your own children. Before you deny, how you are with Mokuba is all the proof I need."

"You're just digging a deeper grave for the mutt," Kaiba said adding whipped cream to his meal.

"But he was so worried about you!" Yami added quickly. "He begged me to do something to help. So, I used the Shadow Realm to help out."

"How-" Noa started to say before Yami interrupted.

"You should know by now that the Shadow Realm is all powerful."

"But-"

"SHADOW REALM IS ALL POWERFUL!"

"How does the 1000 yen come into play?" Kaiba asked adding a cherry on top of his "masterpiece".

"It was his fee," Jonouchi answered before Yami could stop him. The blonde's eyes widen when he realized what he said too late. Kaiba had started to eat his lunch in silence as the thought about all that was said.

"Looks like someone will be taking your place on the couch, mutt," Kaiba said with an evil smirk as he dialed his cell phone. "Hello? Yuugi?"

* * *

**Owari**

**Random talk:** Personally, this is my favorite one I did for this idea. It also gave me my favorite line I ever came up with. (My other one is "Screw Pokemon, we have Duel Monsters". Don't ask…) Ah, now I'm going to have to make Yami say that the Shadow Realm is all powerful in my fics now… You do have to admit, the Shadow Realm is overused in fics to explain anything supernatural for Yu-Gi-Oh. Yeah, I'm guilty of abusing it. I try not to, but I can't help it at times…

Please Review!

Until next time!

Rubi-chan, over and out!


	4. The Princess Little Dilemma

**The Princess' "Little" Dilemma**

"I hate you!"

It was the same thing every week. Kaiba had somehow become good friends with Yuugi somewhere between Yami's departure and return. Once a week, the two would go out (in disguise) to have what "the guys" would call an "uke day out". It was true Jonouchi was no longer on the couch, but was now forced to sleep in Yuugi's guest room. When Kaiba would come over to meet with Yuugi, he would yell at the blond. Jonouchi's mantra became "only six more months".

"What did Jonouchi do this time?" Honda asked trying to be careful not to anger Kaiba any more than he is now.

"I'm fat!" the young CEO cried. "I can't fit into any of my clothes! I have to go buy new ones!"

Sure enough, Kaiba wasn't wearing his normal skinny jeans and skin tight shirt. Instead, he wore baggy blue jeans and a red and black shirt with the arms torn off. In fact, it looked familiar to the blond.

"Wait, those are my clothes!" Jonouchi yelled at which he got a Duel Monsters card shuriken to the head.

"What do you think I would wear?" Kaiba asked, tears slowly appearing in his eyes. "It was the only thing that would fit and was remotely acceptable!"

"Of course it would be the only thing that would fit. You're-"

"I knew it! You do think I'm fat! I hate you, Jonouchi Katsuya!"

Before another word could be said, the pregnant CEO stormed out of the room. By the door frame, Jonouchi and Honda could see an angry Yuugi.

"I can't believe you, Jonouchi-kun!" Yuugi yelled. "You insulted the mother of your unborn child!"

"Wait, I can explain!" Jonouchi managed to yell before he was intrupted.

"Save it… I have more important things to do, like fix what you did! Seto-kun, wait up!"

Jonouchi sighed as the short teen ran off to catch up with the crying brunet.

"Well, you know I always have a couch you can bunk on," Honda said trying to comfort the blond.

* * *

**Owari**

**Random talk:** About Kaiba and Yuugi being buddy-buddy. This came from another fic I have in the planning stages. I liked the idea of the ukes being friends and hanging out without their semes. In other words, it's just a thing I'm going through.

Here's a random fact! The outfit Kaiba stole? It's the same exact one Jonouchi wears in the fourth ending with a modification to the arms.

Please Review!

Until next time!

Rubi-chan, over and out!


	5. The Secret of the Princess and the Mutt

**The Secret of the Princess and the Mutt**

"In other news, it seems that there will be another Kaiba on the way!"

Jonouchi, Honda, and Yami froze as the anchorwoman on the TV announced the big news. It was only recently that Jonouchi was allowed back into the Kame Game Shop after the whole "fat" incident. He was still forced to sleep on Honda's couch, but it was a change after three months of banishment from his "best" friend's home. Now it seems he would be banned once more.

"That's right folks! Kaiba Seto is expecting a baby! Turns out he's been keeping this secret for almost six months now! But he didn't knock some girl up! Sources say that the young CEO is pregnant with his rival's kid! You heard correct, we're talking about one Jonouchi Katsuya. From enemies to expecting parents in such a short time is really something.

"The real question is how did this happen all happen? How did Domino's most eligible bachelor get knocked up? Is it some new Kaiba Corp Technology? Does it have to do with this rumored Egyptian Mumbo Jumbo?"

"The Shadow Realm is all powerful!" Yami yelled at the TV.

"This reporter knows one thing for sure; this is one pregnancy you don't want to miss!"

The TV broke suddenly. Duel Monster cards stuck out in places where cracks originated. The three males were afraid to turn around as they already knew who was there. There was only one person who would be there that can use cards like shuriken.

"Uh, hey Seto," Jonouchi was the first to respond and face the very pregnant CEO. Not even a minute later did said brunet flung himself at the blond and started to cry.

"They won't leave me alone!" Kaiba cried. "The stupid paparazzi keep following me to get pictures! I keep getting calls from reporters for interviews! And to make things worse, I'm fat!"

"Shhh… It's okay," Jonouchi murmered. "Just forget about them. I'll handle it from now on. You shouldn't have to deal with it alone. And you're not fat… You're creating life…"

The words seem to work seeing as Kaiba started to cry less. Honda was about to mutter something about hormones before Yami elbowed him in the stomach. There was no reason for all three to be punished because one said something stupid.

"Thanks, mutt," Kaiba said softly with a small smile on his face. "I guess I could let you back in the house…"

**(-)**

**Owari**

**Random Talk:** Did anyone notice how cruel I was to Jonouchi? He was banned from Kaiba Manor for almost six months. Yeah, Kaiba can hold a grudge.

Sorry for not posting this sooner! I was stuck in a hotel where I had to _pay_ for internet service. Like $10 a day or something. Yeah, not happening. Vegas may get my money, but not for my internet addiction, thank you very much. (For the record, I went there to see my aunt I haven't seen in ages, not to gamble.) Then I kinda forgot to post for a few days because of unpacking and cleaning up. Thanks for those who waited!

Please Review!

Until next time!

Rubi-chan, over and out!


	6. Happily Ever After

**Happily Ever After**

"I'm going to kill you!"

Jonouchi gave a nervous laugh, hoping Kaiba would forget his threat soon. Yami ruined Kaiba's hopes of a c-section early on. He really meant it when he said the Shadow Realm was all powerful. Thanks to it, Kaiba would have a natural birth with no complications. The pharaoh never really explained how, only responding that the Shadow Realm was all powerful.

"You're doing great, Kaiba-san!" the doctor yelled. "Just a few more! And will someone get that kid out of here!"

"Not my fault he has a weak stomach!" Mokuba whined as he dragged Noa's unconscious body out of the delivery room. He still thought it wasn't fair he would miss everything while Yami and Yuugi (who weren't even related to Kaiba) could watch.

"Just think, you'll have a son soon," Yami said, placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "And then you'll get to go through this all over again!"

"What-!" Jonouchi was about to yell before a new noise interrupted him.

"Congratulations! It's a boy!" the doctor exclaimed. The four duelists watched in awe (and exhaustion in Kaiba's case) as the team of doctors and nurses checked to see if the new born and mother were alright. One of the nurses handed Kaiba the baby to hold once they knew all was well.

"Hey there, Fubuki," Kaiba cooed.

"Aw, he's so cute!" Yuugi squealed. "He looks like you! Well, except he has Jonouchi-kun's eyes."

"Let's have another one," Kaiba said suddenly.

"What!" Jonouchi yelled. Surprisingly, Fubuki didn't cry at the sudden noise, but laughed as if he knew what was going on.

"Well, of course," Yami said with a smirk. "Fubuki needs a little sister. It's destiny."

"Screw that! I would like to keep my sanity, thank you very much. I'll sleep on the couch!"

**(-)**

**Owari**

**Random Talk:** Ah, poor Jonouchi-kun… As we know with GX, that plan will fail. Yeah, if you didn't catch it, I did put in a tie into GX with the Tenjoin siblings. It's too obvious that those two are the result of puppyshipping that it can't be ignored.

Woot! All done! Did you know I wrote all five extra stories in the same day? Makes sense since they're all fairly short. Yeah, it was a slow day… As for the double post, I felt sorry for not posting the previous chapter sooner~

Thank you to all who have read this! If I made you laugh, I succeeded~!

Please Review!

Until our paths cross again!

Rubi-chan, signing off!


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